It was a Friday morning a little before 9 AM.
I had just pulled into a turn lane on East Colfax and Krameria Street.
I looked to my left.
On the Southeast corner was a shitfaced bum staring blankly into traffic.
There was a thick rope of drool connecting his bottom lip to his filthy sweatshirt.
At his foot was a half drank 40 ounce of, I think, King Cobra.
He was pissing into the street.
Now I could of smiled, shrugged, and said "aw, Colfax."
But this wasn't the quaint experience that I describe.
It was shocking and tremendous.
This bum was pissing without use of his hands.
And it wasn't like his hands were full, they were hanging still at his side.
An act of some slight skill to the say the least.
For this man had, without a doubt, the largest penis I have ever seen in real life.
Or on film for that matter.
It was roughly the size of a two year old's arm.
It was flaccid and uncircumsized.
And he was pissing like a race horse.
I could almost smell it over two lanes of blacktop.
And this man had the blankest expression.
He probably couldn't see past the end of his gigantic dick.
My eyes widened, and I might have gasped.
Then the light changed and I went on to work.
The sun came up over the Goodwill.
It was late summer.
