june 21 2006

that sweet indulgent fluid

bottles
pints
shots
cans
couches
floors
drunk best friends
models
whores
tattoed hands
cities
secrets
cats
vans
good times
laughter
bad decision
strippers
actors
average musicians
mornings after
walks of shame
the bartender knows me by my real name

july 4 2006

I love this fuckin country

Reflections on the Fourth:
I honestly think that the fourth of july may be my second favorite holiday after halloween.
Mainly because I don't consider it a celebration of America's birthdaybecause, let's be honest america has got some blood on it's hands- some people ( me included) think that this whole fuckin country is bankrupt.It's not about that.
To me it's a celebration of independence.
Independence allows me to yell fire in a crowded theater
or use my welfare check to buy a 40 oz. and a gun.
Independence is what Steve McQueen and James Garner fought for in the Great Escape.
And independence is going to allow me to drink many beers, grill a small animal, and play with fire and feel damn good about it!

"I love this fuckin country, and she loved me more than I could imagine, so I waited untill she slept and I stepped into traffic."

february 21 2007

I knew I couldn't ignore that dull pain in my jaw forever.
So I finally put my well paid for insurance to use and head down to the local dentist and awaited the bad news.
Why would it bad news? You might ask.
Well... I haven't been to a dentist in about
SIXTEEN YEARS
That's right, the last time I was in one of those chairs I was in high school and I was getting my braces taken off.
And here was the prognosis:

SIX CAVITIES
THREE BROKEN TEETH
(two of them broken off at the root)
ABCESS APLENTY
ADIOS WISDOM TEETH

And all I could do was laugh.
And smile.

The hygenist said "I've seen worse."

I laugh some more.

She said "you're taking this quite well."

What else could I do.
At least I'm fixing it now.
Plus, it makes for a good story.
Like this one.

The moral of this story:
Take care of teeth.
It's the only set you'll get.

And the next time you see me, cheeks puffed out and dazed from the Nitrous, smile and laugh.
In case I'm not able to.

november 27 2007

at least I’m smiling

While my heart is being  broken
As  I walked through the doors  of the Denver Dumb Friends League I realized that I'm not getting out of here alone.
As soon as my beautiful wife told me that she was going to the D.D.F.L. on business trip I knew.
I knew we going to invite a furry little tragedy to enter our home.
And that was fine by me.
I thought.
I thought that as soon as my beautiful wife told me that she "wanted a doggie" that I wanted one too, but I still had to walk in as the stern, practical realist asking hard questions, wondering if our home is dog friendly, if our dynamic duo of cats would accept another pet.
What. Who When Where How Etc.
So there I was.
Walking up to the D.D.F.L. with a stiff upper lip.
But as I walked in
A gigantic smile stretched across my face
Looking at the kitty aquarium
Walking through the doggie holding pens
I KNEW that my heart was about to broken
And I eagerly sought out pen 1B
And there she was
The scrawniest 3 year old boxer mix in the world

Who just broke my heart

After my beautiful wife and I filled out the paper work, bought food, leash and stuff we wandered around the pound
And my heart continued to break

I wished I could have taken them all home
But I could only take 1 home
and that is enough
for now

The three branches of the the Denver Dumb Friends League do remarkable work.  They accept adoptable pets from tiny cities in the surrounding 4 states due to their 94% adoption rate.
94% PERCENT
Our little beauty came to us from a pound in New Mexico
She is hand shy
and could stand to gain 10 pounds
And we love her like crazy

She is sleeping soundly in the other room after having eaten 2 bites of food and finding a warm corner of the house

My message to you
If you have a little bit of time, a warm place to sleep, a big fat heart, 50 to 100 bucks to spend,
PLeAse
pLEase
Get yrself an X-mas present early
And give a fuzzy buddy a new home


We are still trying to decide on  a name
Any suggestions are welcome